Remember, Remember - That Not All Joy Looks the Same

As the nights draw in and the air turns crisp, many of us look forward to Bonfire Night — the crackle of flames, the sparkle of fireworks, the laughter of friends huddled together in hats and scarves. For some, it’s a night of excitement and sensory delight. But for others — especially many autistic people — Bonfire Night can feel overwhelming, unpredictable, and stressful.

This 5th of November, let’s remember that not all joy looks the same.

Different Ways to Experience Joy

Autistic people, like everyone else, experience happiness, excitement, and celebration — but sometimes in ways that don’t fit the typical picture. While one person might feel energised by the bangs, lights, and crowds, another might find comfort and joy in watching fireworks from a distance, through a window, or even through a video recording in the quiet of their home.

Some may prefer the soft glow of sparklers in the garden; others might enjoy creating Bonfire Night crafts, baking toffee apples, or telling the story of Guy Fawkes around an indoor candle instead of a roaring fire.

There’s no one “right” way to celebrate. Joy can be loud or quiet, shared or solitary, bright or gentle — and every version is valid.

Practical Ways to Make Bonfire Night Autism-Friendly

If you’re celebrating Bonfire Night with an autistic family member, friend, or child, here are a few ways to make the evening more inclusive and enjoyable for everyone:

1. 🎆 Offer choice. Ask how the person would like to celebrate — do they want to attend a display, or would they prefer to stay home? Having a say in plans can reduce anxiety.

2. 🔉 Think about sound. Ear defenders or noise-cancelling headphones can make a huge difference for those sensitive to loud noises.

3. 👀 Create predictability. Watch videos or look at photos of fireworks in advance so the person knows what to expect. Visual schedules or social stories can also help younger children.

4. 🕯️ Bring the celebration indoors. Watch a live stream or video of fireworks from the comfort of your home, or make it a themed movie night with snacks and fairy lights.

5. 🧣 Have a quiet retreat. If attending a display, make sure there’s a calm, safe space nearby to take breaks if needed.

6. 🧁 Find alternative ways to mark the occasion. Baking, crafting, storytelling, or even just lighting a candle can all be meaningful ways to celebrate together.

A Reminder for All of Us

On a night filled with noise and light, let’s pause to remember that joy doesn’t always shout. Sometimes it hums softly in the background — in a comfortable routine, in the warmth of a safe space, or in the quiet company of loved ones.

By recognising and respecting these differences, we create a world where everyone’s version of happiness is seen and valued.

So tonight, whether you’re lighting fireworks or enjoying the glow from afar — remember, remember, that not all joy looks the same.